Shastra’s Blog
SEXUAL SHAME ~ Sexual Frozenness, Part One’
How is sexual shame preventing you from living an expressive and happy life? This is a big subject. And we all have it to some degree.
Do you sometimes feel frozen sexually?
Or do you judge yourself for being ‘Too Sexual’ ? Guilt can be a cause of this type of judgement.
Or are you not satisfied with how your sexual parts look?
These are all subjects to each explore separately. Our bodies contain so much wisdom to help us rise above some of these issues.
Sexual energy is NATURAL and if expressed w/o shame is SO POWERFUL, just think of the way you feel after an amazing sexual experience, PRETTY EXPANDED, I imagine, and do you feel limitless!!! Like you can accomplish anything!!! At least for a day or two.
There is a saying, that we orgasm when we can’t handle any more pleasure…..
This is where sexual shame comes in. It can be slight at first, we can make up excuses like, “well I have an appointment to get to, I had better stop for now.
Conscious Sex, tantric sex, is all about Going Slow & Noticing ….the deeper moment to moment feelings with in ourselves and our resistance to full mind blowing sex. You can even practice these awarenesses by your self.
Today I want to focus on sexual frozeness.
For women, our bodies can shut down after a negative sexual experience or relationship. It is really our minds and our amygdala, that has stored the trauma, that tells our body to contract. But our body actually can shed the trauma and rise above it and release the storage of it in the amygdala,. If we let it.
In the tantric path this is done thru many specific practices, including the breath, and specific self touch and other practices. We don’t have to stay stuck. We have more personal power than we think.
For men, the same thing can happen. You can lose your confidence after a negative experience or relationship. And shut down sexually and emotionally. Of course it can manifest into P.E. Or E.D. I always encourage men to go deeper. There is a great opportunity to admit that your sensitivities matter, and connect to what your real emotional needs are. Maybe you are not loving yourself enough to admit what you want in a relationship and in sex, And then Asking for it.
For these issues I find three things very helpful:
…Renew a relationship with your sex center, allow all emotions to be felt and be expressed and released
…Resensitize your genital area with a special tantric self pleasuring practice
…Start connecting your genital area with your heart
THERE ARE MANY TANTRIC PRACTICES YOU CAN DO TO ASSIST YOU.
WE WILL EXPLORE OTHER ASPECTS OF SEXUAL SHAME SOON.
I love you and am here for you.
Until next time!!! 4.18.22
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~THE POWER OF OUR SEX DRIVE ~
Unconscious Sex Drive wants to act out to repress emotional pain.
Conscious Sex Drive wants to express passion & love. But the
heart can know if you are using your sex drive to repress deeper
negative feelings or to express love.
The PURE HEART is free from longing and holds compassion for another’s
repressed heart. It knows how to WAIT, for the sake of another. PURE
HEART has the ability to discern what kind of loving another wants, in
the moment.
Even the most hardened man, who has pushed away his longing for the
tenderness & love of a woman, in favor of his pursuit of money &
career, will eventually have to come full circle, knowing that by
abandoning his connection to the feminine, he is not whole and can
never reach full enlightenment. Sex Drive knows this, and serves as a
profound spiritual catalyst; pushing, pushing him to move forward
toward the feminine, even when his wounded heart & head says NO.
Even the most self sufficient woman, who has convinced herself that
risking another experience of hurt by opening and revealing herself,
even to her own partner, is not worth it; will realize eventually that
without the amazing gifts that the empowered masculine has to offer,
she can never really feel fulfilled. But her Sex Drive knows… and will
keep pushing her… until she can remain open..always… in her loving.
So tonight, take another step… to move into your natural roles…as the
masculine… to reach out…to the feminine…and admit your longing to be
close to her. And as the feminine…have the courage… just for one
night…to accept and surrender to your own vulnerability and receptive
nature… and admit to your masculine partner or essence… your longing…
to be taken over by male spiritual strength & passion.
So tonight, just RELAX… in the presence of love itself!
BLESSING YOUR PATH OF LOVE,
SHASTRA
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~ SEX AND ASCENSION ~
I have a question for you! Can you describe what happens to you and
what it feels like at the height of an orgasmic experience?
What is sexual energy in its purest essence, without thoughts about what it represented in the past, or what emotional ties to sex we have developed, or what dependence we may have on the sexual experience?
The mind does play an important role, biologically in creating a pleasurable sexual experience in that the activation of the pineal gland and pituitary greatly assist our sex center to relax and open.
What happens when we allow this indescribable, beautiful, sexual energy to flow through every cell of our body and allow it to activate all energy centers of the body, and all of our subtle bodies?
When we experience this level of pleasure…ordinary sex becomes….Hi Sex… Then we realize that this sensation IS THE ENERGY TO POTENTIATE OUR ASCENSION!
I ONCE MET A MAN NAMED Michael Monk, a man who has the ability to partially dematerialize his body. In studying with him and learning his ‘Mastery of Enlightenment’ program, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the very first exercise in the program, which he says is the most important…. is the very exercise that I offer in my Level Two, ‘Full Body Awakening’ Workshop!
I have had the personal experience of feeling as if my legs were going to dematerialize during one of the daily practice breath work exercises that I do.
I know that our bodies, not our minds alone, hold the key for expanded states. For me, if I forget to do my practice I can slip into ordinary human states, we all experience; confusion, worry, and compression.
Human beings have only one energy, and in its raw, unrefined state this is sex. Through the practice of Tantra, your sexual energy becomes refined, leading you on a path to spiritual awakening.
The intensity of sexual energy cannot be matched with any emotion known to humans. The force instigated by sexual energy can override even the most intense fears in a human; there is enough evidence to suggest that humans can undertake some extremely risky behaviors under the influence of this energy, which they would not dream of doing if they were not taken up by it. No other force has the power to inject the amount of courage, fearlessness, imagination, impetus, motivation and creativity that the force of sexual energy has. This is one reason why sex is the most sought after activity by humans and why sex is the major topic of discussion in all spiritual and religious literatures.
When you don’t expend sexual energy through a physical release, it seems to channel into creative actions automatically – getting things done which you might not have had the energy to do previously.
– The force of this sexual energy has the power to burn through resistances within you (that arise from fears or phobias in the mind) – it’s like being under the influence of a powerful drug while also being conscious in its wake.
Be authentic/honest within yourself to recognize if you are a prisoner to your sex drive or if you are stable enough in your being to be able to contain this sexual energy without it playing the master.
With Ecstatic Joy!
Shastra
www.ShastraTheSensualSpirit.com
www.meetup.com/tantra-community-of-sensual-spirits
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YOUR EMOTIONS ~ A Curse or A Gateway
In this modern age of technology sometimes even the idea of talking about emotions let alone expressing them seems to be taboo.
ARE YOU AFRAID OF YOUR EMOTIONS?
WE ARE BECOMING MORE AND MORE REPRESSED ALL THE TIME.
BUT-
Transforming hurt emotions into Feelings of joy IS THE ABSOLUTE KEY TO EXPERIENCING THE HIGHEST SEX POSSIBLE.
HOW DOES EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION PLAY AN IMPORTANT PART IN FULFILLING SEX?
We want to feel very free in our bodies
With this freedom comes amazing creative ideas,,, we can tap into our missions
Turning emotions into feelings of joy IS A GATEWAY TO OUR PERSONAL ASCENSION
& FULL BODY ORGASMS THAT LAST FOR DAYS!!!
GOT YOUR ATTENTION YET?
YOU CAN ONLY CONNECT WITH ANOTHERS EMOTIONS AND HELP THEM TURN INTO FEELINGS OF PASSION TO THE DEGREE THAT YOU CAN CONNECT WITH YOUR OWN.!!!
I recently had a breakthrough with a family member. His main complaint fo me has been that I am too emotional. My main complaint of him has been anger/sadness that he does not ever hang in there with me long enough to understand the very depth of what I am trying to express. He has just kept pushing me away.
THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE ON THE PLANET AND THEY ARE ALL MAGNIFICENT:
~~The Scientists with brilliant mental prowess
~~The comedians, so full of laughter
~~The Wise People
~~The Warriors
~~The Nurturers
~~The Sensual Souls
You could say that each type is a perfect expression.
BUT—
In my opinion, the highest quality is compassion, and compassion is enhanced thru a decision to FEEEEL no matter what type you are.
DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR:
COMPLAINTS OF MEN~
- Her emotions are too intense for me, I can’t handle them
- Can’t we just solve this logically?
- Her emotions make me feel powerless
- I want to walk away.
COMPLAINTS/SELF JUDGMENTS OF WOMEN ~
- Why doesn’t he understand me?
- I want him to come closer when I am emotional
- I dislike myself for being TOO emotional
- Or I don’t want to open up to anyone,, for fear or really hurting others.
THE TRUTH IS~~~
We are all time bombs wanting to dramatically express all range of emotions.
WHY ARE WE HOLDING BACK?
For myself, being a deeply feeling person, I don’t know where I would be today if I hadn’t given myself permission to ‘Let it All Out’. I realize it may be easier for a woman due to cultural correctness.
FORTUNATELY, TANTRA SHOWS US THE WAY TO EMOTIONAL FREEDOM!
In Love and Ecstasy,
Shastra
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IDENTIFYING YOUR PERSONAL SEXUAL STYLE IN LOVEMAKING!!!
If you could create your perfect Pre Play experience on a Tantric Lovemaking date, what would you love to receive! What is your personal, sexual style? Please journal every day for a week adding more each day to the following catagories. Then, get together and share your list with your partner. Also say what you do not like. Give your partner your list to use and keep for Your Pleasure!!!
You will learn a lot about your self by doing this journaling practice! You will be surprised! If you become conscious, truly aware, of what you desire in lovemaking, moment by moment….. your lovemaking experiences will be transformed.
TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY!!!
VERBAL~
Describe in detail. What do you love your partner to say during preplay that helps you feel open, relaxed and excited!! (or what your you love your partner to sing to you?)
What tone of voice would you like your partner to speak to you with?
BE SPECIFIC and keep adding every day until you feel excited and complete!
SOUNDS ~ MOVEMENT ~
What kind of sounds would you love to hear during pre play…. songs, tones, screams….
How would you like your partner to move during pre play…. remember you can create anything you wish!
Would you like your partner to dance for you.?
SCENTS & SMELLS~
What delicious aromas would you love to smell during pre play with your partner?
The scent of a fresh peach?
A wonderful essential oil?
The scent of their worn t shirt?
Be creative!
THRU YOUR EYES~
What would you love your partner to wear (if anything), and then take off during pre play?
How would you love your partner to look at you? What type of eye contact will drive you wild?
What other visual sensations would you love to see and experience?
TOUCH~
Where are your favorite places you love to be touched through out your whole body during pre play?
Where are your most sensitive spots to tell your partner,
Where are your least sensitive spots to ask your partner to sensitize?
Do you like light touch, firm touch?
KISSING ~
How would you love to be kissed? With an open mouth, closed mouth, slowly, or more rapidly? And where would you love to be kissed?
Your feet, hands, legs, arme, buttocks? ( And of course genitals?)
How long in each area?
There are many ways to kiss thru the lips. You can explore and learn these ways!
In this way you can expand you capacity for pleasure 10,000 fold!
With Love!
Shastra
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DEALING WITH INFIDELITY~~~
Within our beliefs about sex and our own sexuality, lie our core fears as humans about our very existence.
Recently a close male friend told me that he cheated on his partner of 4 years .For some reason it hit me hard. It was a sick feeling, like a knot in my stomach. I couldn’t shake it. What is this feeling, I asked myself.
Even though I intellectually understand that there are many reasons that one partner will ‘cheat’ in their relationship…. not feeling a deep connection, unfulfilling sex in their relationship, love addiction, disconnection from their own vulnerability & personal insecurities, etc., I had to ask myself, what does this mean for me.
I remember hearing a story about a tantric couple who transcended their feelings of fear of infidelity through experiencing just one amazing cosmic sexual experience with one another, where they truly became ‘One’ with each other.
One of my teachers said, “ Ecstasy is a hairs breath away. But we are terrified of it and the closer we get to it the harder we run.” All of us, including my male friend, are looking for ecstasy. Maybe he came so close to it with his partner but ran away, to another woman. Maybe he did not yet have the courage to feel his vulnerability and personal insecurities. For me, I realized the sick feeling I experienced was due to MY TERROR OF ECSTASY! Of going all the way… inside.. of the not so good feelings. bearing my soul …. to another.
As a woman, sexual union is so sacred to me
I feel we all have a fear; subconsciously we know the power of sex and its potential to take us permanently to a place of amazing joy and to feel the feelings we once had as a whole, ascended being. If we did not hold this longing from the past, deep within our soul, it would be easier to let go of possession of another. But…… we DO know this…. We DO remember this. So it is a curse as well as a blessing. This longing is of the feminine but is held within all humans.
I feel even though it is a source of deep sadness for all of us…. The disconnection from the Highest Love…Completeness…. It is always AN OPPORTUNITY….
We can choose to push the partner away to avoid the hurt….
Or we can come closer, even through tantric sexual union with the one who hurt us…. With the intention to MORE COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THEM.
And…. We can vow to move into a state of completeness within ourself… For me I do this though my personal tantric breathwork practice. This way, we can feel complete freedom within and thus give this freedom to others!!! Ahhhh!!! Feels so good!!!
What can be the result of practicing ‘Hi Tantric lovemaking ‘after such an experience …
‘Our Own’deepest sorrow and hurts of separation can and very well may- be finally healed! Then, and only then, can you truly respect and honor where another is coming from.
There is a way in tantric lovemaking to release trauma through the sex center itself! This is where actual tantric training comes in. Through integrating the heart and the breath in our lovemaking.
WHAT IS YOUR COMMITMENT TO HEAL? Yourself and others.
Always with you in Love,
Shastra
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UNDERSTANDING THE DEEPEST MEANING OF SEX~~~
Within our beliefs about sex and our own sexuality, lie our core fears as humans about our very existence.
SURFACE POSITIVE BELIEFS ABOUT SEX:
PHYSICALLY—-
It is pleasurable.
It gets us out of our head
Especially in the genital area it feeeeels so good, sometimes almost mesmerizing
The anticipation of it helps us feel alive
Our blood vessels enlarge
Our bodys frequency increases
Our immune system becomes regulated
EMOTIONALLY—
Excitement every time, its an opportunity to get a glimpse of feeling accepted and loved by another
An opportunity to extend our loving nature and risk/hope for acceptance of our self expression
We also get a glimpse of true connection
OUR SURFACE FEARS ABOUT SEX:
PHYSICALLY—
My performance was way below average
I didn’t last long enough
I wasn’t open enough to my partner
I was too shy or too wild
My body will not be pleasing to them
EMOTIONALLY—
I feel too needy and I’m afraid I will show it and they will back away
My sex drive is TOO INTENSE and they will get scared off
A DEEPER LAYER OF CORE FEARS:
However, there is a whole realm of deeper fears that can surface around sex, the anticipation of sex and the actual act or merging of two sexual beings. Most people aren’t even aware that in order to move into the highest, most open and ecstatic level of sexual merging, some very deep purging and release at the sub conscious level is imperative. Most people miss this opportunity.
To really become a conscious lover one must be willing to explore the depths of their own shadow.
This is the path of the tantric student. It is not an easy path, but the final rewards can be astounding!
It is almost unlimited, the depths a person can go, until he realizes that literally every single negative self assessment he holds about himself can be traced back to and will, I assure you, be transmitted, thru his body, emotionally and thru his energy field during the act of sex.
In this way, the unconscious lover, may be opening herself up to actually taking on more than she can handle from a partner who is not interested in becoming conscious about his own sexuality.
WHAT ARE THE DEEPEST FEARS ABOUT OUR VERY EXISTANCE:
Will I cease to exist. Will I dissolve into nothingness —death
If I really surrender and let go I will have to face and feel all the ways I am Not Good Enough
I have to hold back a little to preserve who I am
The ancient tantric adepts were right when they said, “The path of tantra is a fast track to enlightenment!!! BECAUSE…. GUESS WHAT…. Hi Sex….DOES take us to the brink, AND we can and will dissolve into nothingness….. if we dare go there!!!!
Who has the courage to consciously explore, feel and experience their deepest fears in life in general let alone thru the act of conscious sexual merging!!!!
Surface, shallow, genital sex IS …..much safer!!!! But….you are missing out on an opportunity to attain TRUE ONENESS AND COMPLETENESS….. With Oneself!!! That’s the only kind of completeness there is.
It IS— enlightenment!!!
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RECOVERY FROM SEX ADDICTION: Posted- January 17th 2017
Through the ‘Sensual Spirit Tantric Healing Program’
TONY’S STORY
Tony had a 20 year history of sex addiction. From the age of 16, Tony had a major problem controlling his sexual urges. As a result, Tony was thought of as TOO aggressive by most young women and he had difficulty sustaining any long term relationships.
The strong sexual urges had a hold on Tony. He preferred the excitement of going from one brief affair to another. (His dopamine levels fluctuated dramatically due to excessive lower chakra masturbation.)
Tony’s attitude was, “Women will just have to put up with me.” He was demanding of women as a cover up for the feelings of confusion & self hate that was always knawing at his core.
Sex addiction can be triggered by many factors but the result is most always sexual shame and very low self esteem. Sexual shame can be the result of one or more significant events or an ongoing negative emotional environment, but the motivation to continue acting out is always the same, TO ANESTHESTIZE EMOTIONAL PAIN.
In Tony’s case, an on going environment of being under constant pressure from his Dad, to ‘BE A MAN’, and TO BE ‘GOOD ENOUGH’, created tremendous ongoing stress for Tony. Tony’s father, a sex addict, was verbally abusive, threatening & demanding of both sons. And in addition was constantly threatening to leave the family. The impending abandonment itself was enough to motivate Tony’s addiction.
Tony needed an outlet for his stress. And his first sexual experience at age 16, provided an intensely pleasurable new avenue.
Once an addiction sets in, with a predictive pattern established, conventional treatment such as therapy alone, rarely yield life transforming results.
A TANTRIC PERSPECTIVE:
“It has been my observation that with sex addiction, there is rarely a connection between the sex center and the crown chakra, and in addition, with the crown chakra invariably closed, it can be extremely difficult to shift out of the addiction. I have observed many people with sex addiction stay stuck in their addiction for literally decades, using behavior modification, and attempted abstinence alone.
An open crown chakra through specific tantric practices & spiritual integration modalities that I recommend, can open a person to state of joy and connectedness with a higher power that a 12 step program alone cannot accomplish. In addition, it is imperative to identify the ONSET of the addiction and to shift the resulting trauma out of the body to see any lasting results.”
TONY’S HEALING:
Through ‘The Sensual Spirit Tantric Healing Program’
The 1st Step:
The 1st step in helping Tony, was to identify the original onset of the addiction; when the behavior first started. In Tony’s case, it was initiated by one of a series of incidents where Tony’s father emotionally belittled him in front of several female peers at age 15.
Then, Shastra guided him through a series of two, ‘Deep Core Transformaton / Tantric Breath Work’ sessions, to successfully release the trauma from the amygdala & hypothalmus.
The next step for Tony was two fold:
. First, to open the chakras, specifically the heart and crown, and create strong connections between all chakras, through tantric breath work sessions & active tantric breath meditations.
. At that point, Tony was clear enough, with enough trauma reduced, and enough consciousness about his issues, to work with a dakini; who did hands on work with Tony to shift and disperse the strong sexual energy and show Tony how to integrate breath to do this himself.
In this way, Tony developed the confidence that he needed that he could actually have control over his sexual urges himself!
The Final & Key Step:
Tony’s father’s oppressive and abusive control over Tony had left its mark. But after all of the previous work, there was still a missing piece. A split off part. Tony’s father energetically pulled out of Tony, and used Tony’s self esteem. This is VERY COMMON with sexual addiction & other sexual abuse issues.
Shastra helped Tony identify the areas and incidents where soul loss may have occurred and recommended an experienced soul retrieval practitioner.
As a result, Tony, after 20 years of a constant battle with himself and his loss of personal integrity, is fully recovered!
NOTE:
Introducing any soul retrieval work too soon, before Tony could move into a place of feeling truly connected to a higher source, would not have been beneficial, and could have reversed itself.
Introducing the tantric breath work and sessions with the dakini, after identifying one or more core issues that initiated his behavior & then releasing them from crucial areas of the brain; freed Tony to connect with his higher self, and accept the Spiritual Integration work necessary for a full recovery!
Shastra has integrated these modalities in specific sequencing thru 20 years of study & 6 yrs.observing sex addiction in a therapeutic setting.
(For more information or to schedule a consultation with Shastra you may contact hervia e mail her at goddess.shastra@gmail.com.)
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DON’T BE AFRAID ~ TO HAVE PROFOUND & INTIMATE CONTACT……. WITH EVERY …THING!!!
Hello Sensual Spirits!
Here are some delicious, deep and profound quotes from one of my teachers in the Himalayas!!!
CONTEMPLATE & Enjoy!!!
• “When we realize the pure and heavenly nature of EVERYTHING….NOTHING CAN TAKE AWAY THIS RADIANCE.”
• “A tantrica has learned the experience of profound contact WITH EVERYTHING!”
• “If you let go before touching deeply, that can bring on mental turmoil.”
• “Touching deeply; EVERYONE… EVERYTHING…. then letting go occurs naturally.”
• “Only total abandonment to the Mental can open us to the Divine.”
• “Without absolute Self Confidence of your expression, there is no opening of the heart.”
Love,
Shastra
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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Thank you Shastra. Very insightful!
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